Mindscape of Chris Judd

I read a post on a site geared for guys (artofmanliness.com), and cut together some stuff there and some other thoughts of mine… on being a man… to “Man Up”… to be in a “band of brothers”

What happens when you’re in the company of initiated men – men who are committed to your growth and theirs, are willing to hold you accountable and be held accountable to a much deeper, trusting relationship – is you begin to get fathered by the other men. Eventually, you become more comfortable in your own skin as you find your place among the men. You also have the opportunity to learn the lessons so you can move forward into manhood.

This may sound a bit cryptic, but the process is quite natural when you’re with men who are tired of the superficial and are willing to admit that they also need help to be better men, fathers and husbands.

It’s with men – having fun, learning about each other, receiving and offering guidance, wisdom, experience and advice – that we can get help to discover how we really feel, and then connect with our passions and our higher purpose.

It’s difficult for most men to believe that what they need to be happier and more successful is the support of other men. After all, most men have never had that kind of support. It wasn’t taken away from us in our lifetimes. In fact, it’s been several generations since men were raised by men, in the company of their uncles, brother and neighbors, and taught what it meant to be a healthy men in their communities.

But once you discover the power of being in a circle of men, you’ll never want to be without it. It’s within that circle where you’ll find your answer, and so much more.

Our strength as men (and I don’t just mean physical strength) is to be used for others – to be better husbands, fathers, and friends.

If you are interested on the topic of this blog post, I highly suggest that you read a book called “Wild At Heart” by John Eldredge. He explains that we were created with passions and sense of adventure deep within us, and he explores how to get your heart back as a man!

In the last few days various readings and audiobooks have all touched at some point on Moses seeing the back of God instead of His Face… Why did he look at the back and not face-to-face? As the Bible explains it was because Moses could not survive it… And yet even with the fleeting glimpses of God and His Glory from the back, he came down with his own face glowing/shining!

Can people tell that we have the living God shining thru US??

I am reminded of the missions trips I took to Chennai, India a few years ago. I went knowing that God wanted to use my skills and talents to help a Bible school with their technology, but didn’t know how it would impact both sides… I went with a team of folks that had goals of visiting orphanages and schools, setting up medical camps, teaching classes, and so on.

I’ll dig up some journal entries about the trips and post those later, but to the point, as I took some time away from my tasks to help the other teams in medical camps, the non-medical ones (like me) would sit and pray with every person that came thru the camp. For many it was the 1st time they heard the name “Jesus”… what struck me the most, which is what ties the thought back to the title, is that you could SEE by simply looking at a person’s face if they were a believer, a brother/sister in Christ… THEY GLOWED! The others that were not, were solemn, pitiful looking, sad… That “shiney” aspect is dimmed here in America… we’ve got too much vying for our attention… We also have a tendency to reorganize the message of the Church as Christ intended… It is harder to look at another person here and see it as obvious…

Oh, to be that light, to be a “shiney”

This post is a little tardy… It’s gone under the editorial knife a lot as I tried to reflect and make this a tad more introspective as I too carry the title of “father”.  It’s gotta carry a little extra dimension <grin>.

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What an example and model I have in my Dad – Charlie, in what it takes to be a man, a leader, a responsible adult, and a caring and compassionate father.  He demonstrates respect and admiration and reverence for the gift God gives us in our mate, the courage to forge ahead into the great unknowns of family, business, and life itself.  He taught me to work with my hands so that I’d never go hungry - fixing cars, working in the home woodshop, building houses, fixing appliances and having a few extra parts after <grin> .  He showed me how to analyze and tear apart (sometimes literally) a system of processes to know how things worked – finding the commonality to complexity – thereby making it easier to learn a lot of things by  then concentrating on the differences and not the base.

He encouraged learning outside the box, allowed me to find and follow my own path, kept me grounded in seeking God for everything, and to me is a super-hero.  A model of meekness like our Lord – fantastic strength under control…  I still learn from him to this day and I have cherished each phase of our relationship as it has changed over the years… from protector/provider, to coach, to friend.    I can truly say, Dad is one of my bestest friends.  He was my Best-Man at both my weddings (hang on there before you wonder too much, the 2nd one was a vow-renewal ceremony for our 10th anni.  I am just thankful Pam said “yes” the 2nd time I asked!)

Happy Father’s Day Dad!!!  Thank you for all you’ve done… I love you!!

To Spencer and Neil-

I will NEVER forget as wee ones, your little arms wrapping around my neck in hugs, the laughter of pure fun in tickle-time and the squeeling of “magic word pleeeeeeeeease” to get me to stop, or you grabbing my hand (or leg) if something got scary and it turning into a vise-grip, wiping tears away from your hurts, the pure trust in your eyes as I explained things were going to be ‘ok’, the running up hugs/tackles when you got in from school telling me about your day, the openness we shared to ask me anything about anything, as you’ve gotten older you still like hanging with me and don’t shun off affection or attention in front of your friends…  I thank God every day for giving me your mom and each of you.  You make me complete, you provide joy and happiness, and make coming home from the battlefield of a hard day out in the world a pure joy.

My greatest remembrance was hearing you make Jesus your bestest friend at a tender young age, and as time has gone on the most proudest moments are when I see you grasping things I’ve tried to teach you, and owning your own Faith in God.

I hope that I have been able to provide to you the kind of example you need as you too grow and begin your own families.  I hope you REALLY understand how hard that is for me to say.  I am having to let you grow up and that was not in the plan as I held your tiny body in my hands after you were born – God was going to come back before you “growed up”….  The time is going by faster and faster!  It makes me smile when we play video games together, kill spiders with “scrubbing bubbles” cleaner so we don’t have to touch them, go swimming and scuba diving, spend long hours in the car driving down for a Disney Cruise or stay at WDW, and even chill and hang out doing “nuthin”…

Thank you both for making me a happy dad….  Thank you Pam for making good kids <grin>

To the rest -

My hope and prayer for dads (and future dads) out there is to do your level best at attempting to model our Heavenly Father… to provide acceptance – show that  the ones you love are loved just because. “We are family”.  Demonstrate  affection – give hugs, spend time together, engage in talks, say “I love you” often – AND MEAN IT.  God gave you your wife, your kids, your everything – tell Him Thanks often as well!!

My hope and prayer for kids out there is to honor and respect your parents as God commands, and even explains in His Word that “this is the 1st command with a promise” that your life be full and complete.  Give dad some grace and understanding, there was no “owners manual” provided when you were born, and even if there was, men don’t read instructions!  HA!  Remember most of us dads see our kids as our most terrific achievement – “Look what I did!”.  If you don’t have a great dad, remember this, God is Father to us all, He welcomes you with open arms in love and understanding…

Happy Fathers Day!!

To Spencer:

It’s hard to put into word and print how proud we are of you today as you graduate High School! You’ve been a model boy, teen, and now young man. You’ve endured hard classes and learned the most important lesson – to never stop learning! I thank God for allowing us to have these 18 years so far to raise you, teach you, provide for you, love you, and watch your faith become your own, your heart to grow more and more tender to show His Love to others, and to want to walk in His Will.

This day is one you will always remember, I know we will… It marks a significant change in your life, and the 1st of many milestones marking events and challenges you will charge ahead to accomplish and conquer!

Continue to read, study, and consume the Bible, stay focused in your walk with Him in prayer and devotions, and know that no matter how old you get, you are loved by your mother and I unconditionally…  read over Prov 23:15-25

I know with true passion what God the Father felt like when He announced “This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased!”

Remember that “mother’s day song” we sang as kids? “M is for the many things….”

This is about the 3 “moms” in my life… My Mom (Wanda), My wife (Pam), and Pam’s mom (Sandee)…

Where to begin… Obviously, the basic simple fact of life is that without mom (and dad too I suppose) I wouldn’t be here… But it goes beyond that. Without mom’s influence and impact in my life – who I am would be drastically different. She cared (and still does) about the little details in my life and that of my sister. She would occasionally work outside the home to help income or to do something different, but she concentrated on being home to make the house a home – a place of refuge from the world, a place to be safe and to know love, a place to learn and grow. She loves God, loves dad, loves her kids, and now the extended family that has grown since we’ve gotten married and had our own kids. She provided to me in her actions, not so much her words what to look for in a woman to spend my life with – and she approves of and loves Pam as if she was her daughter. She and dad taught me the value of commitment, standing by your word regardless, don’t lie, be nice, eat your veggies, don’t torture flies, snakes are icky, nature is God’s canvas for beauty, you can put sauerkraut in brownies to try and hide it from your kids but some of us CAN tell. She helped me memorize lots and lots of Bible verses, and would stick up for her family no matter what. She has become one of the great fine-art photographers and taught me alot!! (check out http://wandajudd.com) I Love you Momma!!!

Pam is…. how do I best put this…… simply the best gift God has ever, or will ever give me – aside from His salvation and gift of Grace!! Pam completes me. She makes me tingle, she helps me, she loves me, she loves our kids, she is self-less, giving, caring, calming, the best role-model for my son to compare to for his future bride, and my daughter to aspire to be like for her future husband. She is artistic and very creative. She is smokin’ HOT , she looks even prettier without makeup, she supports me in anything I try to do. She will fly in little planes with me, go SCUBA diving with me, ride my motorcycle with me, helps me when I go out to take pictures for people, and even rubs my head after SHE had a long hard day. She has a knack for finding cheap vacations, and is truly one of the smartest people I know. She takes up a challenge without letting on she’s a little scared and goes on brave as ever. She is a good cook, wonderful companion, and truly my better half. I could go on and on, but I need to save some material for more blog posts! LOL

I love you babe!! Thank you for being the bestest mom to our kids!!

Sandee (Pam’s Mom) is the model of perseverance and trust. The more I have gotten to know her over the years, the more I can see what Pam will be like as we grow old together, and I can see where Pam learned her grace, composure, and selflessness. Sandee lost her 1st husband, Pam’s biological dad, many years ago, when Pam was 8… She met and married Art Ireland, and they lived together until Art’s home-going in ‘05. Together Art and Sandee raised a mixed yours, mine, and ours household, and taught Pam so many of her life lessons, that in quiet moments of reflection, when Pam and I are talking, I can see and hear each of her parents… Sandee truly loves me and there is not the sit-com/stereotypical “mother/son-in-law” relationship at all between us… I am ever so grateful to her for being Pam’s guiding influence to be the woman she is. Love you Sandee!!

So to all the “moms” in my life, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!

Well, not to be outdone by his sister, Spencer setup his own blog site last nite… But here is the difference – he was not content to use the resources I had setup on our Apple Server hosting the other sites— nooooo. He instead rebuilds his test box into his OWN CentOS/Linux server and installs MySQL, PHP, Wordpress, etc and re-routes the firewall rules to forward to his machine for his domain…..

That’s my boy!!!

He’s going to be making a page or so to his upcomming missions trip to Tanzania and will have geek things on other pages too — check it out

n0ctem.net

Show of hands (that means use the comment link below!) – how many of watch “NCIS” and/or know what I mean when I reference “Boss Gibbs” slapping his team occasionally on the back of the head for semi-bone-headed reasons…?

Welllllll, last few weeks, I’ve been dealing with some major decisions, waiting for God to light up a nearby bush, zap out some writing on the wall with His finger, or , praying for peace, discernment and wisdom… Then I picked up one of my devotional books – the kind for “busy men” which means “we keep it short since you’re a guy” – Start reading a few days worth, and SLAP… huh? was that you Father?….. read the next “day”…. SLAP SLAP… ouch! oh, was that aimed at me? I was thinking this was perfect for __(fill in name here)__ they should read this…. ok on a roll… read another “day”… SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP…. ok OUCH!! That hurts… wow, I guess this is ME in these pages…

Boils down to short snippets (for guys remember) about Joseph, Joshua, and others that were “Prepared to be God’s Answer for the Times”…

So… I’ve made one of those decisions… I had to put the book down before I got slapped again!

Well, it was inevitable… my daughter had me change her website we made one rainy day as a father-daughter adventure last year into a blog site recently… and she’s posting some good content… she picked the domain name “Chicklets4Christ”… She’s got such a sweet heart for her King, and currently has some posts on how to study the Bible as a teen and things she finds interesting in her reading… I’m sure there will be teen-girl stuff I’ll cringe at and cover eyes and ears running away from the keyboard going “la la la la la… I am not accepting” (read that as “posts about boys”) but I know it will be a fun ride!!

Click here to see it, and if you have teen girls, have them comment and share.  If you have teen boys, don’t <grin>… I am praying for her future spouse, and so far I ain’t got a clear picture who that is……. click click (shotgun, shovels, and 5 acres… all I am saying…) – heh heh

Well…. We’ve adopted a new puppy from the Humane Society in town, he is a cute little “mix” (mutt) but appears to have a lot of terrier in him. Scotty sniffed him out a few days before and appeared to approve… His name is “Zeke” (pronounced Zeeeek, like some old-fart miner in the wild-west). He was abandoned and left for dead by his previous owners…jerks. He’s so full of life and energy! We are assembling the training cage, puppy food, chew toys (this boy has SHARP puppy teeth), and so on now.

But we begin a new “Circle of Life” cycle with a puppy…. it’s almost like an older couple having a baby again… and not the grand-baby kind you can hand back to the parents when the fun wears off either…

We get to pick him up after the infamous ’snip snip’ and shots this Thursday (in: 5 days, 17 hours, 12 minutes ago)

We are also looking for another smaller puppy too, yorkiepoo-ish kind… Let me know if you know of one!!

Yesterday was one of the most mixed emotional days in my life and that of my family… we put to rest our “man’s best friend” and family member “Scotty Montgomery Judd”… he was a joy in our lives and will be missed and remembered for all time… he was 11 years old, and had developed a cancerous lump on his butt that wieghed in over 10 pounds and was just making his life un-fun….

But we all knew, Scotty included, that it was time to end the pain and send him on ahead of us.  So we spent his last few days when he had a good hour or so of play in him, to feed him his very own steak dinner from Applebees, play outside, let him get filthy and roll in the leaves, even help pick his “spot” and come by as we dug it out to get a rough size of the hole needed – he of course would sniff around the hole, poke his head down in it some, then look up like “needs to be bigger dad”…

When we got to the vet, he had a little pep still in him as he bounced around the office and had that panting-almost-talking-excited voice… We lifted him up to the table, and he was hurting so much, back muscles so tender… he got his shots and in seconds you could see a wave of peace come over him as he began to feel no more pain… his eyes stopped looking like “why do I hurt all the time daddy” and instead looked at us with “thank you, I feel good, you are my best friend, thank you”, his shaggy eyebrows flicking up and down, back and forth as he moved his eyes in his ever so expressive manor…. and then he slipped away into such a relaxed sleep, and he was gone…  Happy and scruffy to the end…….

They wrapped him in his favorite blanket – ours too that he took over – that he used to lay in the landing window near the front door and watch the world, barking at the UPS and FedEx guys, and the ultra-evil mailman… protecting us from those that got too close to “his house” and “his peoples”… We brought him home, gently placed him in his spot, and quietly reflected on his life and passing… crying, hurting, aching deep within. I tried to say a few words to help and “be strong”, but I could not say many… we each slid in a little dirt, and I let the family and friends gathered go inside while I finished…

Before everyone got home and we took him to the vet, I snapped a couple of pix with my iPhone while we waited, check them out in the gallery link at the top of the site – this head shot you see here and a good profile of the lump… will add others we took as time and emotions permit… am a basket case now… I cried for hours after everyone left home today… am drained… I keep “seeing” him out of the corner of my eye, looking for him in his usual lazy lay down spots, going thru the old habits of checking the door to see if he wants back in from going outside yet, dropping little crumbs and such thinking “oh, Scotty will get that”, and hearing sounds like his collar/tags clinking together as he walked…

I used to poke fun of people that would remark “my dog will be in heaven”… that was when I was a “cat person” many years ago… But after living with Scotty for these 11 years, and the joy he brought to our family and the part he played, I can’t help but believe now, that God will allow us to have things that made us happy with us in Heaven…

Thank you Scotty, for being part of our lives.  Thank you for the fun, for the good times and the bad (only as a puppy – wink).  We love and miss you!!